![]() ![]() You are likely to value independence highly and feel attachments tie you down. They will be well placed to weather the storms which are an inevitable part of any relationship, and if they get angry, are likely to communicate their feelings clearly and won’t hold a grudge. A partner with a secure attachment style is usually happy to share all parts of their life with you and be honest about their hopes for the relationship. Alternatively, in the course of loving relationships or by working through your patterns with a therapist, you may have developed a healthy way of relating to others.īeing in a relationship with this type: There’s unlikely to be any game playing. It’s also possible you were born with a natural resilience which helped you to rise above less than ideal parenting. The adults who brought you up are likely to have been attentive, loving and reliable (though not perfect!). Having a clear sense of yourself, you’re unlikely to be thrown when someone close to you is in a negative mood. You’re happy to be interdependent: that midway point between independence and dependence. Having a secure attachment pattern means you’re likely to feel an innate sense of confidence in your relationships. I find it difficult to talk about my feelings as they are often confused. I don’t mind at all if my partner is away. If things aren’t going well in my close relationships, I find it almost impossible to concentrate on work. Generally, I feel that others accept me for who I am. I feel that I’m likely to be hurt if I become very close to others. I tend to feel tied down by intimate relationships. I feel quite anxious when facing time away from a partner. I’m happy in myself whether I’m in a relationship or not. Part of me wants to go, and part of me wants to stay when in a relationship. I feel a need to cling on to close relationships. When dating someone, I tend to put all my cards on the table and don’t play any games. I find it uncomfortable and challenging getting close to others. The idea of someone depending on me makes me feel anxious. I can resort to attention-seeking behaviours when I don’t feel safe. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I tend to break off relationships before they get too serious. I would describe myself as independent and self-sufficient. ![]() I would like to be emotionally intimate with others, but I often feel that others don’t want to be as close to me. Having close relationships comes naturally to me. Tot up the colour of the statements you mostly agree with… Do you have attachment issues that are stopping you from having a successful and loving partnership? It’s time to find out… ![]()
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